TERMS OF SERVICE
TDOGGstudios.com is an informational and marketing website maintained by T.DOGG Studios. Throughout this Agreement, T.DOGG Studios may also be referred to as tdoggstudios.com, we, us or other plural pronouns (reflexive or otherwise). The entity on the other side of the screen, interacting, starting at lovingly, or pointing and laughing at this site will be referred to as you, site visitor, tool, or whatever else we deem appropriate at the time.
This Terms of Service Agreement (“Agreement”) is our contract with you, the site visitor, and tells both of us what can and can’t be done on this website and to each other face to face. That’s right. In the real world, where we can look each other in the eye.. So by using this website, you agreed to accept all terms and conditions written here. If you don’t like it, get out. Now.
First, this is our stuff.
The content, images, designs, compositions, intellectual property and other random things you might find lying around on tdoggstudios.com is our stuff (altogether known as “Content”). You are granted limited license only for purposes of viewing this stuff while on this site. You can’t take it with you or use it somewhere else without asking. Not only that but our Content is protected by the laws of courts domestic, planetary and galactic. Time Lords have vetted this stuff. Really. Check out US Copyright Law (17 U.S. Code § 107) if you don’t believe us. Also reference Article 391 of the Shadow Proclamation and the Treaty of Axhatyouaron. This means you don’t even get to look sideways at our stuff with evil thoughts in your head, and you must wear bow-ties on Tuesdays. They’re cool.
Misuse of ours or other people’s stuff is not condoned in a polite society. If for some reason you’ve given us content for our site, and we actually posted it, you’re promising that it’s yours or you have permission to use it. If you take someone else’s stuff and try and pass it off like it’s okay, when it’s not, we’ll be very grumpy with you. If men in expensive suits send nasty letters that use words like “damages” over something you provided, you’ll be on the hook for anything unsavory that happens to us, our employees, our web hosts, vendors, or esthetician. This includes at least our legal bills, dry cleaning bills or other financial impacts that may result because of what you submit.
Sorry we have to say it, but don’t do these things here:
Just like the old dude waving his cane from the front porch yelling “Get off my grass, boy!”, this is our place. When you’re in our place you have to play by our rules:
- Don’t try to damage our site, stop others from using the site or send us nasty code wrapped up in pretty bows. That’s mean.
- You can’t use this site in a way that may cause harm to any person or business entity.
- If we ever open some commenting thingy, you promise not to spam it. Don’t mess with our contact forms either. This isn’t your advertising medium and you can’t sell your garbage here without our permission.
- Don’t waste our time with useless comments, and don’t use those newfangled auto posters.
- Don’t defraud, be a hater, or act like an tool. Remember – Time Lords are watching. They can do some crazy stuff when they catch you.
- Like we said above, don’t post things that aren’t yours to post or are illegal or icky (by our definition!). That leads down a dark path.
- You cannot publish, sell, sub-license or otherwise commercialize any Content of this website.
- If you do something not covered here that we later decide isn’t appropriate, you can’t do that either.
If you play nice in our house we’ll fetch you a cup and you can rest by the fire and read a bit. If you don’t, we can show your the door, ban your toolish self, or quite possibly notify “Whoop Ass and Thensome, Attorneys at Law”. They love this stuff. Oh, and just because we fail to catch or smack you right away for violating any section of this agreement it doesn’t mean we’re waiving any rights. Maybe we’re just being nice. Or maybe it’s secret squirrel strategy. Either way, we can decide to enforce our rights for any or all violations of the terms outlined here, against you or any other, at any time.
Just so we’re clear…
TDOGGstudios.com may allow you to post content by the rules of this Agreement. If you chose do do so, you are solely responsible for anything that you post. Furthermore, by posting your content you’re giving us an irrevocable license to use that content as we see fit anywhere we want, now and forever. But just remember, if something you submit costs us money, you agree that it’s only fair that you pay the bill.
Can’t we just talk it out?
If you have a problem with something we did, or some content on this site, let us know. We can talk it out like good neighbors and it’s likely that after a while we’ll come to an amicable conclusion. If not, well, there’s always lawyers. But that will cost at least one of us a lot of money and we’d like to avoid it. But if we have to we can put on our big boy pants and head downtown. The court must be somewhere in California, and will be decided based on California law and what’s most convenient for us. The headings are just for fun, but you should know that the rest of this Agreement is covered by California law since there has to be somewhere we can hold our version of the OK Corral. And like a fast draw at high noon, the winner of any dispute settled in or out of court is entitled to have their attorneys’ fees and other associated costs paid for by the defeated party.
Severed paragraphs. Or heads.
Your agree that if some bits of these Terms of Service are determined to be utter nonsense by an impartial judge, it doesn’t mean that the rest of our Agreement is unenforceable. The balance of this Terms of Service Agreement will stay in effect, as interpreted and intended, without the part deemed silly. So there.
We like to share.
Our site has links to third party websites that we have no control over, such as those of our clients, vendors or other resources. We make no warranty of the accuracy or availability of these sites nor do we take any responsibility over the content of these sites. Inclusion of a client’s logo does not constitute nor imply an endorsement of T.DOGG Studios by that client. If for some reason you have an issue with one of those linked sites and come to us about it, you’re missing the point. We’ll tell you to go away.
TDOGGstudios.com can assign, transfer, and subcontract its rights and/or obligations under these Terms without any notification to you. Since we like double standards, you are not allowed to assign, transfer, or subcontract any of your rights and/or obligations under these Terms without our permission. These Terms constitute the entire Agreement between us and supersede all prior agreements and understandings, verbal, written or sent by sky writing.
ALL CAPS LEGAL STUFF
FOR SOME REASON THIS PART IS IN ALL CAPS. PRETEND IT IS BEING SHOUTED IN A BRITISH ACCENT BY BIG NOSED GUY IN A POWDERED WIG STANDING ON A BENCH. IT WILL MAKE IT MORE ENTERTAINING, EVEN THOUGH THIS IS SERIOUS STUFF. WE CAN’T GUARANTEE THE VALIDITY, MERCHANTABILITY OR TEMPORAL SIGNIFICANCE OF ANY CONTENT DELIVERED TO YOU THROUGH THIS WEBSITE. NOTHING CONTAINED IN THIS WEBSITE SHALL BE INTERPRETED AS ADVISING YOU TO DO ANY SPECIFIC THING. THIS WEBSITE MIGHT MAKE YOUR COMPUTER SICK. ITS NOT OUR FAULT, YOU SHOULD HAVE BOUGHT A BETTER COMPUTER. WHAT YOU CAN’T DO IS SUE US FOR SOMETHING BAD THAT HAPPENED JUST BECAUSE YOU VISITED THIS SITE. JUST LIKE A USED CAR, EVERYTHING HERE IS PROVIDED “AS-IS”. THAT’S RIGHT – WE’RE DISCLAIMING ALL LIABILITY FOR ANYTHING AND EVERYTHING, WHETHER OR NOT WE KNEW OR SHOULD HAVE KNOWN OR MIGHT HAVE KNOWN OR COULD HAVE KNOWN OR MAYBE EVEN KNEW WOULD BE A PROBLEM. CALIFORNIA ALSO HAS SOME SPECIAL LAW THAT SAYS IF YOU GIVE UP YOUR GENERAL RIGHTS TO CLAIMS YOU DON’T HAVE TO GIVE UP YOUR RIGHTS TO CLAIMS THAT YOU COULDN’T HAVE KNOWN ABOUT. NOW THAT WE’VE TOLD YOU, THOSE RIGHTS ARE GONE TOO. WE’RE NOT GOING TO PAY YOU A DOLLAR MORE THAN WHAT YOU MAY HAVE PAID US EVEN IF WE END UP BEING RESPONSIBLE FOR SOMETHING AWFUL. WHEN YOU COME INTO OUR PLACE, YOU PLAY BY OUR RULES. CHEERS!